… In this dark place,

as we L E T G O , we L E T I N

the grace that is found in these deep chasms,

the faith, the fortitude, the T R U S T in who we are.

We learn that maybe purgatory is not where we are judged,

but where we let go of our judgments.

Where we are invited to set ourselves free…

I see myself crying alone on the floor of a deeply wooded forest. Huge, tall trees all around me.

I’m sitting on the ground, knees to my chest, arms wrapped around my naked body.

With tear-stained cheeks and swollen eyes I look up to the stars, and cry out,

“But, it still hurts.”

The night sky becomes her star-covered arms as the Cosmic Mother sweeps down and holds me in her blanket of stardust and loving compassion and whispers, “I know baby, I’m here. I can’t take you from this place. But I will be here with you while you move through it. I won’t leave you. I’m right here…”

There is a strange and beautiful pain in allowing your entire life to dissolve, and burn away... not knowing what and who will stay, or go... not knowing what it will look like, or feel like, or be like in the next step, or the next 100 steps.

My higher self + Spirit called me to walk by faith, not by sight, trusting in that which I couldn’t see... and I devoted my daily path to Trusting that guidance, even when the flames were licking my calves as I stepped and my heart was cracked open more times than I can count and in more ways than I knew possible... I felt space created in my cells and every part of my being, and in the initial resistance, it felt like a million deaths…

… When you see a bright red in the forest,

When you see 'her' insides (and she mirrors to you, your insides)

You pause and honor what is,

You take her in, (and take, and let yourself in)

In the not-knowing, everything we need to know is already there.

And you let yourself sink into the wisdom your mind doesn't need to understand.

Your heart already knows…

When I was in the deep throws of postpartum depression, I experienced recurrent, intrusive thoughts - one in particular. "I want to put my head through the wall." Over and over, like an alarm bell going off, day-in, day-out…

…What if our dear souls are seeking a way to 'dissociate' from this body, and get back to the feeling+knowing of that Light? *To dis-member to re-member,* that we are more than this body and its current experience? And that each of those paths may *all* serve a sacred purpose + also tempt escapism (+addiction & harm)?

I pray you, we, I, continue to *CHOOSE* TO COME BACK. AND TO STAY. ALL of us, EVERY PART of us, 100%, all the way, right here, right now, in this body. EVEN IN THESE CHALLENGING TIMES - THIS is the medicine - to bridge discomfort+seeking more/better into the realization+honor that YOU are the Medicine.

*THIS* is what we came here for. To re-member (put back together) who we are…

Sometimes it f*cking hurts. IT’S SUPPOSED TO.

Pain is MEANT to interrupt your pattern of being + life to deliver sacred messages guiding you into something new, something higher, IF YOU LET IT.

The more we resist it, the more it HURTS.

If it’s going to hurt anyway, as you’re stretched or squeezed through a transformation opportunity, what if you LET IT??…

In freedom and Love I wait.

I whisper, “make straight the Way,” though the living waters of Creation so love to hug and caress the bends of the river as she traverses the great land.

So, perhaps, it is not the straightness, but the openness.

The receptivity to the flow.

Allowing her to rush in and through like the raging river, pushing away, cleansing out, what no longer serves…

My first adult experience with angels was in 2012. I was rear-ended and as soon as I was aware an impact was happening, I was pulled out of my body by two Light beings - beings I can only describe as Angels. I recognized them, though more by feel than by sight, after all, my eyes were still in my body and “I”... was not. I “saw” by a different type of sight, an experiential one: a knowing mixed with feeling and Light - a “sight” I’ve since found to be more reliable than my own two human eyes…

Sometimes healing feels like a cellular earthquake that is intensely “de-stabilizing” with the divine purpose of CHANGE & the choice to TRANSFORM into a higher expression &life trajectory…

Maybe you forgot you’ve been holding your breath...

Because you’ve been under for so long... But suddenly something warm and bright parts the water and you know it’s for you.

Maybe it IS you...

And you have a choice:

Stay under, or rise up.

Come up for air.

The world is ready for you.

Or maybe it’s not.

But YOU’RE ready.

And it’s time.

… The beauty is this: we have a choice. To have the COURAGE to FEEL IT and stay open. The magic is just on the other side. To realize that these ‘undesired’ feelings are gatekeepers urging you - “Yes, dear one. You’ve found it. Look there. A few paces more. Keep your heart open, there’s a treasured truth waiting to be revealed.” A power-source we have long-suppressed…

… The glaciers are melting. This is not the first time in the history of the planet, and likely not the last.

Glacial water is the some of the purest water you can drink. It contains *thousands* of years of stored (frozen) energetic intelligence in the form of water crystals, minerals, and ions. Glaciers are ancient time and wisdom keepers.

Some say that during times of great need - in the cycles of the planet - of expansion and growth, contraction and fear - the releasing of this ancient, stored, frozen earth-intelligence occurs - melting - releasing it into the bloodstream of our watery planet - for the infusing and absorption into Mother Earth and into us, her people…

I was so angry. All the time.

I was mad at *her,* too.

A spiritual presence sometimes just did not feel like enough as I dangled at the end of my rope, simultaneously feeling like I would suddenly spontaneously combust and that I was also, somehow, drowning.

I KNOW I’m not alone.

Why does it *feel* like I am?…

Painting this triggered the sh** out of me.

What you think might kill you, is usually just asking you to sit with it, a little deeper, and offering a healing opportunity should you choose to accept it.

The fire doesn’t burn you, your resistance to letting go does.

All comes into balance at the end.

The world may seem like it’s burning and flooding and all is going to shit, But WE have the power and WE are the medicine to rewrite our stories…

LUNGS and GRIEF ::: Something you might not know about me. In the late summer of 2017 I developed pneumonia. It was persistent and very difficult to overcome. So much so that it affected every lobe of both lungs, and officially recurred 4 times over the course of the last two and a half years. I felt unwell for years straight.

In traditional Chinese medicine, the lungs are emotionally connected with G R I E F . And pneumonia is related to emotional suffocation. I confided in a shaman-friend, “I feel like I am feeling the grief of the world.” It was not just a feeling, but a knowing... And then 2020 came…

I’ve learned to have greater and greater confidence in what I know: we are all connected, we are all much more powerful than we realize, and we are all One. In the truest, most sacred sense.

This time of grief will end. We will heal. Collectively…

Affirmation: “I lovingly liberate myself from relying on others to determine who I am and how I feel. I love myself enough to become the leader in my own life. I quiet myself and allow my heart and my inner wisdom to guide me. I am ready to re-member. I release all false beliefs, bindings, and that which no longer serves me. With every breath I become more myself. I am free.”

We need to remember what OUR VOICES sound like.

Not the voices on the 'tel'e'vision' that TELL us what to SEE - think - feel - prioritize...

…We've been singing songs we've been taught to sing.

What about YOUR song?

It can’t be taught, only remembered, and only by you.